2020, was quite a remarkable year. We learnt to embrace the uncertain, we learnt to strive in the most unstable conditions and above all, we learnt that we can make plans but the universe would have something totally different designed for us and we can do nothing but embrace it and smile through the discomfort of the process knowing fully well that what lies ahead would be better than what we leave behind.
Within the chaos of 2020, a couple of things stood out which emphasized the 4 seasons of life which we all experience in the 4 key areas of our lives: Relationship, Career, Finances and Purpose (for those who have discovered their purpose.)
Similar to when the Pandemic hit in 2020 and we all went into survival mode, so is the survival phase in the seasons of life. In the first quarter of 2020 when we all went into compulsory lockdown, So many people had a mental breakdown, others could not cope with the feeling of being alone and not travelling to meet loved ones, others could not cope with not seeing their colleagues in the office every other day. Everything screamed “CHAOS!!!).
This type of Chaos is very synonymous to the chaos we face in the survival phase of our lives.
In this phase, we are still struggling to figure things out. Our career, relationships and spiritual life are all in drama. It is always up and down. Someone is either messing with us or we are messing with someone, everything just seems up and down. It is awful, draining and sucks the life out of you. At this stage, many people feel discouraged. Discouragement is written all over us because we seem to just be surviving in a deep-sea with our nose just slightly above the water. Survival mode can be a very addictive mode, its a place where most people need miracles.
In the survival mode is when most of us need immediate solutions. We would do whatever it takes to just get out of that state. Just like the first quarter of 2020, we were all eager for what next, when will there be a vaccine? when can we go out again? when can we see our friends and family again just like we did in 2019? We needed answers, immediate answers and a satisfying solution that could put our anxiety to rest.
If you find yourself in the survival phase of life understand this: life is a process; you are not the only one going through this phase. You could be experiencing the survival mode either in your job, marriage or relationship. You feel the relationship is not going as it should, or the marriage is not what you signed up for or the job doesn’t give you inherent satisfaction. you are struggling with this issue. This is the survival mode. You didn’t start the relationship to fail. Its a process, don’t quit or get a divorce…just yet.
Learn to take your mind off the chaos for a bit and just reflect and meditate, appreciate the moment and realize this phase too shall pass.
If you are reading this, it means you made it through the chaos of when the pandemic hit in 2020, no matter how totally unawares it took us, you made it through. Mirror your resistance of 2020 to the survival phase of your life. No, you didn’t start that relationship to fail, you didn’t marry just to rush out on divorce, you didn’t go to school for XX amount of years just to end up unemployed. NO, YOU DID NOT!. Understand that where you are right now is just a phase and as long as you do not give up on hope and keep doing the right things and taking the baby steps no matter how insignificant those steps may feel now, you would eventually move into the next season of your life.
The Chaos of 2020 definitely thought us mental resilience which we can use going into the next decade in the 4 key areas of our lives.
Yay! one of the most incredible things you are going to do is to move from survival to stability. This is usually the most exhausting jump. At this phase. you are not going to get a divorce anymore, you have a constant paycheck coming in, you got your dream job, S/he accepted to date you again, you feel like s/he might like you again so the relationship might work.. oh, he’s beginning to change, he is now a good dad, here there’s a breath of relief (uhhh!!!! things are falling into place ***smiles). you went through survival, you didn’t give up, you trusted the process. Most of us get so comfortable with stability and forget to dream again. once things stabilize you have to dream again, because if you don’t dream again you may stay in stability mode for the rest of your life and think you are successful, if you stay here, then you may never know what it is to succeed.
Stability in 2020 was the point where we accepted the new normal. Wearing a mask to go out became the norm. constantly washing our hands and sanitizing became a way of life…, this was so much a breath of fresh air from the phase of staying indoors quarantined and wondering what would happen next to the world we used to know.
Imagine we all got comfortable with wearing masks for the rest of our lives and no effort was made to get a vaccine.
Off course wearing a mask to go out after the excruciating lockdown felt like success because we were going insane indoors. But if the administrators and nurses and doctors got comfortable with the stability of the mask, there won’t be the success of the vaccine.
Therefore, DO NOT get comfortable in STABILITY
Success is about dreaming again. In order to move from stability to success, your focus is important. Focus on positive evidence, gather the right evidence. Stability is a comfort zone but remember that nothing great happens within a comfort zone. Stability should be the fuel that propels and prepares you towards success. Money is good, but Success isn’t just money, what about success in your relationship! what does SUCCESS look like!! have u ever thought about it?, success is about dreaming again after you become stable in any of the 4 key areas of your life, you have to dream a new dream, Success is a journey, not a destination. Stability is just a destination you long to reach after survival but after been stable, you have to dream and keep dreaming and keep moving, yes you got the job, dream for promotion and keep working hard and smart. Yes, you got the relationship, dream for a next level and keep working, there’s always a higher level to attain and success is the ability to keep dreaming for the next best level and attaining it. You must be the light, bring flavour to the company, be the light in the relationship. The bible says we are meant to be the head and not the tail, success is the continuous strive to be that light, that head and not the tail.
We must be cautious not to confuse stability with success. Life has got storms, but you have to sail through the storms. Success and great things will happen in your life if you don’t get comfortable in the comfort zone of stability. Do not project a give up mentality but get up and keep working. Most times, success is measured by how many failures you have overcome but if you get comfortable with stability and don’t dream again you may never even know the difference between success and failure because in the comfort zone of stability, you never really get challenges.
Again, just imagine if the health officials settled with the fact that wearing masks and sanitizing was enough to reduce the spread of the virus. Would we have a vaccine today? I guess not.
Every time you reach the endpoint or target, YOU MUST SET A NEW GOAL.
Read Also: HERE’S HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF 2021
This is more precious to me than any other. What is success to you! getting the dream job or the dream car!! oh yeah maybe, whatever it is for you, hang in there but there has got to be something more.., this is the paradigm shift to significance. SUCCESS is about you, but significance is about others. SUCCESS without significance is empty, it has no passion. Significance is more about ministry and discovering your purpose. there is something you are made for that should impact the lives of others. Significance is about the Kingdom. This is not just about feeding people or providing people with shelter, its more about helping people discover their purpose.
Because I am a Christian, I most often draw my references from the bible. Jesus did not just go about feeding people or giving them shelter but he taught them about the kingdom because there, they discover their purpose and living your purpose brings a sense of fulfilment as you now function in your role as a King/Queen.
The purpose of kingship is to look after people. Kings don’t look after themselves, they look after people and that is why they have Kingdoms. It’s not about making your money and having a healthy bank account and going home and wearing the most expensive clothes so others will know you are wealthy. It is about the lives you impact.
It is all about giving, give your time, give your money, give your all, take the risk despite the complacency to make another person’s life better.
Just be kind. Kindness touches souls. Be tough on a difficult situation if you must but do so with love and respect, end the relationship if you must but do not insult the person you are leaving. Fire the employee if you must but do so without exhibiting anger, because in all, you are dealing with fellow humans and you should in every circumstance show respect for a fellow human.
The purpose of your business is not to inflate your bank account but to seek first the kingdom. The purpose of your marriage is not for love or sex but to seek first the kingdom.
We will forever remember the health care professionals and doctors who put their lives on the line to save the lives of all those who were infected and affected by the pandemic in 2020. If they were doing it just for the money, no amount of money would be enough to substitute their lives and the risk they took for our loved ones and the people we care so deeply for. They did because they were sacrificing for a cause bigger than themselves. Significance goes beyond you.
Therefore, whatever you do or plan to do in the new decade ( 2021 and beyond), you MUST FIRST DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE.