The beginning of a New Year is usually accompanied with various New Year resolutions set aside by many in an attempt to make the year much better than the previous. Many people are propelled into making different changes in a new calendar year as a step towards making better decisions for themselves and their families. Some towards their health and diet, others might simply be to exercise more, some might be to give love another chance, reconcile with estranged member of the family, lover, or friend. While for others it might be putting more effort in their places of work, quit smoking, drinking, or to stop watching unhealthy shows etc. whatever your decision may be, is the fact that it all boils down to one thing being a better human in the new year.
As we enter the new year, I have outlined my 5 top vices to took out for in the year 2020. These vices are things or attitudes we must do away with if we must move ahead in the coming months. They are those things that lead us down the wrong way, shifting our focus away from our laid out targets and goals for the year. Some of us may find ourselves guilty of one or maybe two of the vices but that doesn’t matter, what matters here is your attitude towards making the required changes. So whatever category you may find yourself in, this an opportunity to reflect on yourself and what you want to do about them.
This takes the top spot out of our list today, as many of us may be guilty of this vice. We are saturated in our pride in one way or the other whether we choose to admit it or not. The holy books talks about pride as a sin “is there not in Hell an abode for the proud?” (Surah Az-Zumar 39:60) “When pride comes, then comes shame; but with humility is wisdom” (proverbs 11:2). Haven seen that, pride is that feeling which makes us feel that we are above and better than every other person in the room. Most people confuse pride with self-worth or confidence, please note that they are two different things altogether; while one is the attitude of haughtiness and full of one’s self, the other is a belief in yourself, acknowledging your insecurities and owning to your mistakes. We have in one time or the other allowed pride to creep into our lives, be it in our relationship with our spouse, friendship, in our relations with co-workers, bosses, relatives, the waiter in that restaurant; or that Barrister that served you coffee the list goes on and on. Somewhere along the road we have thought ourselves better than the people whom we feel are beneath us. Just as pride makes you feel superior about yourself, remember the same pride has led to the destruction of many before you.
In this new year, take time to examine yourself and locate those areas where you have been too proud in the past and fix it. Call that person be it brother, sister, mother, father, ex, friend or even your nanny if not for anything just to say “how are you”. Amend broken relationships, forgive and forget that hurt and start again on a clean slate.
Next on our list is anger, yes this plays a very significant role in the lives of many being that, majority of the people believe in using harsh words, bullying and even ridicule as tool in their relationship with others. The constant need to be “always right” and letting others know how “wrong” they are has greatly increased as the day goes by.
Many a times, we are often too impatient with the people around us, our families, colleagues, friends, spouse, and even child/children. We are quickly angered with the people we love the most which results to unpleasant confrontations which could have been utterly avoided. We must realize that anger and harsh words/actions do not make the situation any better neither does it make you right nor justify the use of foul language or excessive force. Putting people down verbally or even online does not make you a cool cat; it rather shows that you have little or no control over your emotions. So take a stand today and write down those things which provoke you into anger and find a way to overcome them, or better still talk to some about it be it a friend a qualified therapist.
One of the most difficult battles we all face in our lives is worry. Usually whenever we are confronted with any hard challenges or difficult situations our first response to that situation is to worry. We go around worrying over things that are beyond or within our control. Some people worry over just about anything from their tea being too hot to worrying over what colour of dress they should wear to the mall. One thing we must note is that worrying changes nothing, what it does is that it increases our fears and anxieties making us unable to face whatever we are worrying about head-on. I urge you to learn to put aside worrying, if you must tone it down to the barest minimum this year whether you are worrying over your health, children, spouse, job, and friend or even what to have for dinner always have it at the back of your mind that you change nothing by worrying. You benefit more by having hope and faith knowing that everything will eventually fall into place with time.
Some of us have been deeply wounded, hurt, bullied or abused either in the present or even in the past years and I understand it takes a lot to look past some things, but we must learn to now to forgive our past in other for us to move into our future. Our inability to forgive and forget the hurts and pains, has turned many of us into the strangers that we have become today. Unforgiveness leads to anger, pride, and hate. Holding on to past hurts might seem like the right thing to do now, but trust me as you get older you realize that you have wasted your time and energy on something that isn’t even worth it. Sometimes we think asserting revenge on that person who wronged us will make it right, but most often than not the reverse is always the case because revenge does not make it better, it rather make you feel even worse about yourself. When we choose not to forgive and hold on to the pains, we limit ourselves from healing from those wounds.
Do not get me wrong, I get it that forgiveness is not as easy as most people make it out to be as I know many have been greatly hurt, but the moment you realize that by not letting go, you give that person or thing power over you it opens your eyes to understanding why you must let go. So I beg you today to choose forgiveness, if not for any other thing at least for your peace and healing. Choose to forgive that husband that left you for a much younger lover, that wife that left with your best friend, that boss, friend, that bully that gave you hell in high school, or even that neighbor that swapped your stuff. Forgive that child/children that has caused you so much pain and hurt, let go of the pain that abuser inflicted on you forgive and let your healing begin.
Our world today places so much emphasis on ‘the haves and the have nots.’ Much value and respect are accorded to people who have “made it” in life, and less to those who have not. There is now a yard stick with which people now use to measure and determine who they can be friends with and who they can’t, who is cool and who is not. Now because of this attitude, many people find themselves in a constant dilemma of trying to make it by all means. The quest for materialism has eaten deep into our society and Instagram doesn’t make it any easier which has led to many especially the youths astray. Most times, in our pursuit for wealth, we put others in jeopardy all because of our thirst for the fine things of life, trying to live the ‘La Vida Loca’ life. Now I have nothing against those who clearly are able to afford and enjoy this kind of life, no I don’t at all. I am taking about people who live from one pay check to another trying to live a life that they obviously cannot afford and they find themselves constantly trying to keep up with other people. All am saying here is that, in this new year, let’s learn to live and love our lives and refrain from buying things we do not need all because our friends have them. Live within your means and enjoy life with the little you have, you will find the peace and freedom that comes with it. However, if you choose to live by the Kardashians by all means do so but work for it.
What other vices would you advice we all lookout for to make 2020 our best year ever? please drop a comment below.
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